Bush/Abramoff Photos Go up for Sale on EBay
by Dood Abides

Washington, DC (UPSI) - Jack Abramoff today suspended negotiations with Time Inc. for the rights to publish five pictures of him with President Bush. Lawyers for Abramoff accused Time incorporated of not negotiating in good faith and in effect devaluing the potential worth of the pictures by dragging out negotiations. "We were consistently low-balled," stated one source on condition of anonymity.

Abramoff, who agreed to be quoted with a lawyer present said, "I think I can get much more for them in more of a free auction type setting." He displayed to reporters present one of the framed photos which showed him consulting with President Bush just after the bribery scandal began to break last year. "The president has stated that he never really knew me very well, and I suppose he has to do that. It will be for the American public to judge for themselves."

Abramoff continued, "This whole thing really was the result of poor timing upon my part. In retrospect it would've been much better to try to sell the photos before the plea agreement. It's like they say, hindsight is 20/20. I've just never had a real flair for this kind of thing, and I suppose that's contributed to the predicament that I find myself in now."

Opening bids for the photo that Abramoff had for display will be reportedly starting at $500,000. Advisers to Mr. Abramoff maintained that if minimum bids are not met, the photos will be withdrawn. They stated that, in the spirit of eBay, barter will be considered, particularly for international land or real estate in countries having no formal treaties or ties with the United States.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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