Cheney Accidentally Bags Lawyer Out Of Season
by Dood Abides
Washington, DC (APE) - Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride admitted to reporters that yesterday, while on a hunting trip with friends, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a lawyer out of season. The group was quail hunting at the time, and the lawyer, Harry Whittington, 78, was an old Cheney friend and member of the hunting party. A Hospital physician stated that Whittington was just slightly stunned by the accident and the injuries were very much superficial.

The accident comes on the heels of the American Bar Association's this week pronouncing that the organization is officially against the White House's illegal domestic wiretapping program. Witnesses say that there may have been some words exchange between Cheney and Whittington earlier in the day over this very topic.

"There is just no way that anyone can construe this other than as an accidental shooting," stated spokeswoman McBride, "but that being said, both the president and vice president have stated openly and repeatedly that they have within their power the right to do anything, in order to preserve the safety and security of our country."

Game wardens on hand immediately checked the vice president's current hunting license and gun registration which seem to be in order. They did however point out that as of yesterday's date and time lawyers are strictly out of season and that in Texas there is no overlap between quail season and lawyer season. Authorities stated that they would further investigate any impropriety.

Whittington was fortunate in that an ambulance is always on hand with a full medical team in support of the vice president's fragile health. As a result he was rapidly cared for and transported to a local hospital. Game wardens, however, pointed out that it is illegal to hunt lawyers, even when in season, with ambulances as decoys.

Spokeswoman McBride stated that the vice president was very relieved that Whittington was okay and at this point would not alter any of his scheduled activities for tonight and tomorrow. The vice president is due in Austin, Texas to meet with the local NRA chapter and receive a lifetime safe hunters award tomorrow morning.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



Animal Rights Association wrote:
Good shot, Mr. Vice President!
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jr wrote:
Those are political measles . . . wheres Dan Quail when they need'em ?
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eofhgwpeoiughpqw wrote:
Can Haliburton somehow cash in on this?
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insider wrote:
Former golfer and Vice President of Herbert Bush, Quaile(phonetics aside),
means from the greenFlag view point:
U.S. Ambassador to Switzerland Pamela Willeford was the third hunting buddy and the U.S. Ambassador in Switzerland( Bern )under the father of G.W.Bush was responsible for the severest
U.S.-tax payers money laundering case - measured with the figures
of US Dollars - in the history of U.S. Foreign Policy.
Cheney must be persecuted because he had no hunting permission. Then this investigation can be enhanced with Cheney's acquisition of an asbest company where Cheney broke series of laws.
_______________________________


Several_SunSets wrote:
It's a pleasure to present You Mr. Richard Hayes

Phillips:
"Sat Feb 11 7:00 PM CST – SECRET SERVICE CALLS THE

SHERIFF. The supervisor of the McAllen Field Office

notifies the Kenedy County Sheriff’s Department. The

vice president is not to be interviewed until Sunday

morning. "They made arrangements at the sheriff's

request to have deputies come out and interview the

vice president the following morning at 8 A.M.,"

according to Secret Service spokesman Eric

Zahren"(Richard Hayes Phillips). And. Do shoot when

the sun sets!
The time Cheney shot the human body seems in the

bounds of the last half-hour of sunset at the

ranch(Kenedy County(?)) where the shooting took

place. With other words:In the last 20 minutes!

Reply to the actual time of shooting & sun-sets :
"The report says the shooting happened at 5:30pm.
So there may be another set of conflicting

reports"(Posted by: Dee Pb.D at February 16, 2006

02:39 PM).
Proof & Augmentation:
"In an interview with Fox News, Mr. Cheney

acknowledged drinking one beer with his lunch. He

said the hunt began several hours later. The shooting

occurred around 5:50 p.m.(SIC!), according to the

U.S. Secret Service, which traveled with the vice

president"("Cheney cleared in shooting", 02:10 PM CST

on Thursday, February 16 2006, by Michaels, Dave,The

Dallas Morning News Corporation(compare:

http://www.dallasnews.com)).
Reply to there are conflicting statement_Facts :
There is a unique Sunset at 18.10( Local Time ).
Calculation: 18.10 MINUS 17.50 equals 20 minutes QED
_______________________________

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