In Addition to Water, NASA LCROSS Mission Finds Gold on Moon

by NickFun

According to unconfirmed NASA sources, in addition to vast amounts of water, the NASA  Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) mission has uncovered tremendous reserves of gold beneath the lunar surface. Read More __________________________________

Sarah Palin Denies Audio Version of "Going Rogue" For "Illiterates".

by Ed E. Druckman

(Chicago-IL) Sarah Palin pulled no punches according to sources that were able to view "The Oprah Winfrey Show" interview taped Wednesday. In it, Palin denies Levi Johnston's claim that she wanted to prioritize an audio release of her memoir, "Going Rogue: An American Life", because there are "plenty of illiterate Americans with good Christian values." Read More __________________________________

Modders Launch Attack On Microsoft Xbox Live Servers

by Kamal El-Din

Unconfirmed sources report that thousands of Halo troopers from Modded Xbox consoles have attacked servers hosting the Microsoft Xbox Live gaming network. Early reports indicate that the troopers may have established beach heads on several servers and may have actually captured at least one entire data center. The troopers seem intent on capturing all or part of the network in an attempt to win equal rights for modded console troopers on the formerly open network. Read More __________________________________

Nidal Malik Hasan hired by Department of Veterans Affairs

by Dominus Noster

LAS VEGAS, NV -- U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, the psychiatrist who went on a shooting spree, has just been hired by the Veterans Health Administration. He will be working out of the Las Vegas VA system, which has a good reputation as the place of last resort to go to for healthcare. Las Vegas VA director John Bright said that Major Hasan is the exact kind of physician the VA is looking for. Read More __________________________________

CALIFORNIA PLANS TO BAN INEFFICIENT LIGHT BULBS

George Bush Gets A "D",Britney Spears Gives Relief,Ray Nagin Loses It--Again!

George W. Bush Cancels Inauguration Day Festivities to Donate Money to Tsunami Relief Efforts!

University of Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr Resigns after Epic Upset

ANN COULTER AGREES! BRITISH SCHOOL TEACHER SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR INSULTING MUHAMMAD

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.