UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
Mitt Romney Admits to Masturbating
 
by NickFun
 
Mitt Romney attributes his thick head of hair to "abstinence and wholesome thoughts".
Devout Mormon and GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney admitted today that he "experimented" once with masturbation when he was in college.

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The 99% Cheer as 50% of the 1% to be Tried for Tax Evasion
 
by NickFun
 
IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman wants to arrest 50% of the 1% but may be hampered by tax laws.
In a stunning IRS crackdown, 50% of the top 1% wage earners in the United States will be tried for tax evasion. Most of the wage earners are raking in over $1 million per year.

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Cure For Tooth Decay Found
 
by NickFun
 
With the vacine tis child would not have to suffer.
Noted oral surgeon Dr Richard Fulcrum announced today that a cure for tooth decay and nearly all oral diseases has been found but not to expect it to be available anytime soon.

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Researchers Find Link Between Obesity; Calories
 
by NickFun
 
Researchers claim that excess calories may be making this woman fat.
A groundbreaking study from the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, LA reveals that the more calories an individual consumes, the fatter he/she becomes.

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"Gay Airport sex is a God Given Right!" Says Craig Larry Craig Makes Constitutional Argument : Airport bathroom sex is protected Right

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld responds to the Pentagon video footage of his streaking problem Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld responds to Pentagon video of him streaking

Meg Whitman And Carl Paladino By The Numbers

Fox News is ready for War! Fox News Declares War on Iran

NEBRASKA SENATOR SUES GOD

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

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