UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
Senator Joe Lieberman Vows to End Poverty
 
by NickFun
 
Senator Joe Lieberman (shown here with a member of the Hitler youth) wants to eliminate poverty from the U.S.
Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) announced today that he intends on ending poverty in the United States by systematically killing off poor people.

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Obama Administration To Use ReCAPTCHA To Fund Healthcare
 
by Ed E. Druckman
 
Superman, sure. But is Obama up to Google?(Washington, D.C.) In a move as surprising as his being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, President Barack Obama announced at a press conference that he would be issuing a tax on the ReCAPTCHA system in order to pay for the projected $900 million healthcare reform cost.

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Joe Wilson To Become Spokesperson For Tourette Syndrome
 
by Ed E. Druckman
 
Did Tourette's Make Him Do It?(Washington, D.C.) South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson, who shouted "You lie" during President Obama's speech on healthcare to Congress, dropped another bomb shell today, adding to his initial statement that the remark was not premeditated. He has Tourette Syndrome and has asked the Tourette Syndrome Association to be their spokesperson.

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Edward "Ted" Kennedy: "Top Shelf" Or Just "Bargain Basement"?
 
by Ed E. Druckman
 
The end of the line?(New York-NY) Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate or given his girth more like the Whale, died this week. The 40-year Senator eulogized by politicians while Twitter tweets "Mary Jo Kopechne is probably giving Ted an earful right now as he makes his descent into purgatory for a LONG time." What does it mean, not for the Kennedy legacy but for me? Hey, I never claimed to be a saint or even Irish Catholic.

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Presidential Medal of Freedom Machine White House Installs Presidential Medal of Freedom Vending Machine!

"I promise, this cannon is only for home defense judge." Supreme Court affirms right of Americans to own any weapon as long as it's used for home defense or hunting

Rudy Downplays Mrs. G's Extra Marriage Giuliani's wife reveals a third marriage : Rudy admits, "Special Feelings" for doorman

torture memo New Alberto Gonzales Terror Memo: "Don't Get Caught, Ya Big Dummies!"

Bush Administration Slips Further into Fantasyland!

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

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