UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 
In Addition to Water, NASA LCROSS Mission Finds Gold on Moon
 
by NickFun
 
Unnamed NASA scientists claim this is just a tiny sample of the vast amounts of gold the moon holds.
According to unconfirmed NASA sources, in addition to vast amounts of water, the NASA  Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) mission has uncovered tremendous reserves of gold beneath the lunar surface.

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Sarah Palin Denies Audio Version of "Going Rogue" For "Illiterates".
 
by Ed E. Druckman
 
Champion of Illiterates?(Chicago-IL) Sarah Palin pulled no punches according to sources that were able to view "The Oprah Winfrey Show" interview taped Wednesday. In it, Palin denies Levi Johnston's claim that she wanted to prioritize an audio release of her memoir, "Going Rogue: An American Life", because there are "plenty of illiterate Americans with good Christian values."

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Modders Launch Attack On Microsoft Xbox Live Servers
 
by Kamal El-Din
 
Modded Xbox Console Troopers Invade Microsoft Data CentersUnconfirmed sources report that thousands of Halo troopers from Modded Xbox consoles have attacked servers hosting the Microsoft Xbox Live gaming network. Early reports indicate that the troopers may have established beach heads on several servers and may have actually captured at least one entire data center. The troopers seem intent on capturing all or part of the network in an attempt to win equal rights for modded console troopers on the formerly open network.

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Nidal Malik Hasan hired by Department of Veterans Affairs
 
by Dominus Noster
 
Army psychiatrist Nidal Malik Hasan hired by Department of Veterans AffairsLAS VEGAS, NV -- U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, the psychiatrist who went on a shooting spree, has just been hired by the Veterans Health Administration. He will be working out of the Las Vegas VA system, which has a good reputation as the place of last resort to go to for healthcare. Las Vegas VA director John Bright said that Major Hasan is the exact kind of physician the VA is looking for.

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Nauseated New Yorkers recoil at Taco Bell/KFC rodent party

COMMERCIAL FOOD, DEADLY BREW OF CHEMICALS!

The Kepler Space Telescope has found this planet which looks like Earth but it much nicer. NASA's Kepler Space Telescope Discovers Earth-Like Planet

Popcorn, Peanuts.......GET YOUR JESUS!!

T. Geithner arrested for peddling junk bonds

 

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

 

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