 Washington, DC (APE) - In a stunning move today, President Bush in a "snap appointment" and swearing in ceremony bypassed congressional authorities and filled the justice position formerly held by Sandra Day O'Connor. The position was filled by the President's Scottie Dog, Barney.
White House spokesperson Trent Duffy stated, "We realize that this is probably a very controversial move, but the President is anxious for the Supreme Court to get on with its business as soon as possible."
Barney, assisted by the President and First Lady during his swearing in ceremony
President Bush stated after the swearing in ceremony, "Barney is just the best fit for this important job. I'm sure America will come to love and appreciate his counsel as much as I have. I realize that many Americans might be a little angry that I didn't follow through with appointing a woman… well… Barney has been neutered, so I think that makes him pretty close."
The President continued, "Probably a lot of folks are going to criticize him for a lack of experience, but I can vouch for the fact that Barney has trained extensively, and very early, on various legal papers. Also, Judge Roberts has expressed his confidence in Barney and has agreed to offer himself as a mentor."
Spokesperson Trent Duffy stated later, "The whole congressional hearing was sort of rendered moot, by the fact that Barney is just capable of answering yes or no to questions.
This very decisiveness, however, is just what the President has in mind for the Supreme Court of the future; a yes or no, up or down vote on tough issues. The court of the future will be inclusive of all species."
Responding to further claims of cronyism, Mr. Duffy stated, "This is a cultural thing, and kind of ridiculous to comment about. It's very common for folks from Texas to have and keep two or three lapdogs."
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