(Los Angeles--CA) At a Beverly-Wilshire Hotel press conference this morning, a tearful Britney Spears had this to say about a recent George Bush speech her production company put to music and released for free download on iTunes. "When I heard it, I just thought 'It's so wise! I have to imemorialize it for Preston and my other kid'." The speech was a commencement address given in May by President Bush at a little known Republican friendly university on Whidbey Island off the coast of Washington state, Screw U. The speech was discovered by Spear's current husband, Kevin Federline.
However, it's causing controversy not because of its content but because it's remarkably similar to the 1999 Baz Lurhmann single, Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). The Bush administration was quick to deny any plagiarism. "The President lives by most of the 10 Commandments," said White House press secretary Tony Snow. "Does that mean he plagiarized them? We tend to look at this as an 'inspired by' situation."
The speech would have remained unnoticed had it not been for John C. Stevens, a graduating member of Screw-U's class of '06, who submitted it to adult portal Tommy's Bookmarks. When asked why he submitted it to a porn site, Stevens replied, "I'm a sexual compulsive. I'm working on the problem. But because of it, I really don't know of that many non-porn sites. And it didn't seem like a Sapphic Erotica item." A question at Spears' press conference of how her current husband, Kevin Federline, came upon it considering where it was posted was not answered.
The end result? Since being posted on iTunes Monday, Everyone Needs To Chew (When They Eat) has been downloaded 3,000,000 times. The figures for Tommy's Bookmarks have yet to be tallied.
Between expletives at the recent G8 summit, Bush addressed the situation. "There are those of you who never thought I'd be President, and here I am. And I'm sure there are those of you who never thought I'd be a Pop Star, but here I am. Party on, Tony. Party on, Vladimir." Bush was then asked how it felt to be discovered by Britney Spears. "What can I say but 'Oops, she did it again.'"
If you want to reach Ed E., e-mail michael.192@gmail.com or visit Attic Witt.
