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President Bush Joins George Allen at Dixie Chicks DVD Burning Campaign Event

by Kamal El-Din

President George W. Bush joined George Allen, Senator of Virginia, at a campaign event today in hopes of saving the embattle candidate in a tight reelection race. The event was a special dual event which featured speeches by Allen and the President as well as a protest against the popular singing group the Dixie Chicks. The event was fun for the whole family and Bush wowed the crowd by igniting the pile of DVDs himself. The Dixie Chicks are back in the White House's cross hairs as Shut Up & Sing, a movie about the fuss created by Dixie Chick Natalie Maines' comment that she was ashamed President Bush was a fellow Texan, is coming to theaters soon. The event was planned as a way to really motivate Republicans ahead of the coming midterm elections. By all accounts it was a well organized and attended event, that could be a model for future events of the kind. "I was very curious to see how the event would go off." Says RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman. "I am very pleased with how the whole thing went. I think the fusion of speeches by the candidates with a really hate filled expression of anger at the Dixie Chicks was a good match. I could see people really getting into the trashing of the critics of the President, those people are well motivated and will probably vote. The event was such a success that the RNC is trying to schedule the President's appearance at several more ant-Dixie Chicks events and maybe even a few anti-Hillary Clinton book burnings. Republican lawmakers are again proving their talent for motivating their base come election time. With the economy slowing, the war going badly, and voter apathy concerning gay marriage the Republicans needed to find a new way to energize their base and the release of the Dixie Chick movie is very fortuitous.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Who could make this up? I gasped, choked, and then laughed.

RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman said he was pleased with the event, and thought "the fusion of speeches by the candidates with a REALLY HATE FILLED EXPRESSION OF ANGER at the Dixie Chicks was a GOOD MATCH."

Yeah, hate is a GREAT theme for a special event. It's completely fabulous to strategize openly that hate is your motivating force to get out the vote.

Burning CDs, or, let's even start burning books again... yeah, that's a good idea. It just makes such a wonderful experience for the kids.

Politicians who deliberately stir the pot of hate exemplify the kind of family values I want my son and daughter to admire. I'm sure others agree.

I must be so terribly out of touch. I was taught that elected officials with integrity were expected to acknowledge detractors merely by communicating that everybody is entitled to their own opinion, and then move on. Don't feed it. No one, especially any politician, is going to be universally popular.

But this 180 degree switch - having a bonfire, beating your chests, reveling in anger, and sticking pins in dolls... Gee, there must be something to that approach.

There's only one catch. I don't know how any of them can sleep at night, with all that nasty, vile sewage sloshing around in their heads.

Mommy, does turning the other cheek apply to the President of the United States?