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BRITNEY SPEARS 'BACK TO NORMAL' (?) AFTER REHAB

by Gunther Schnitzel

Britney Spears has finished her stint in rehab and has checked out of 'Promises' in Malibu, California. The pop princess left the treatment facility late yesterday "...after successfully completing their program," said her manager, Larry Rudolph, "Spears has made an amazing turnaround during her intensive treatment." Staff at the rehab center however, had a different view. "She screamed and hollered at the workers here and made demands for different foods." a source said, "She has been lashing out in the rehab facility, demanding special food and refusing to pick up after herself. She liked to get her way for everything. She does not see herself as a maid, so she demanded one." "Britney has to sort her priorities out and quickly, before it is too late; otherwise, she may end up dead," Says Chandra McGovern, a friend since childhood. "It is heartbreaking to go from knowing Britney as she was as a child to seeing how she is now, with everything falling apart. It is sad. It has all gone horribly wrong for Britney, and I am truly terrified about what might happen to her. We ask that the media respects her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time." McGovern suggests that to save Spears, she should go home to Lousiana. "...Sort of a reverse Beverly Hillbilly." "It would give her the chance to breathe some fresh air and take her time to discover herself again," McGovern says. "She has been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few years, and it has obviously crashed off the rails. She has to concentrate on staying sober, but she can't do that if she has to worry about going broke – which is exactly what she thinks will happen." Britney is facing bankruptcy after a huge two-year spending bender.The singer has blown $21 million of her $32 million fortune – and faces a big-money divorce. The troubled star, currently battling booze and drugs, is "scared to death" of plunging into the red. Not only is she facing a megabucks divorce from wannabe rapper Kevin Federline, but she has also failed to make any new music for four years – while sales of money-spinning products such as her perfume have plummeted. In the past two years, Britney has spent millions on luxury pads, lavish gifts and high living. And although she signed a pre-nuptial agreement, the mom-of-two has to give Federline – who is 29 tomorrow – a $4m pay-off and half the cash from the sale of their house, on top of her sky-high legal costs. Britney and Kevin Federline have agreed to share custody of their sons temporarily as they finalize their divorce. Self-centered, , sexually promiscuous, exhibitionistic, and with drug and booze problems as well as bizarre behavior, Spears is unfortunately, a role model for millions of preteen girls who emulate her.

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

I really don't think the last part is necessary! "Self-centered, sexually promiscuous,..." the girl is going through a hard time, she really cared for Kevin. Most little girls don't watch the behavior, they look at what she wears and her hair. Little girls are concerned with looks, popularity, and what's in style. Britney's music isn't popular right now, she hasn't been wearing anything to fashionable lately. So little girls, aren't really concerned with her, they are more concerned with other artist!

Excuse me there are many women going through what Britney is going through now and they handle it very differently, why? Because they had a mother who was a mother to them instead of their best friend when they were in their early teens. Britney's mom trying to a mom now is not going to work, its too late. Now Britney has to grow up and be there for her sons, thank the Gods she did not have girls. Quit making excuses for her because you know you would not be acting like her in her place. Some where along the line she got messed up with the fame and that is where the problem lies. The bizarre behavior she is exhibiting is a sign of depression and with out treatment she will never get better.