UCS Reporters
The Dood Abides
Dominus Noster
Ed E. Druckman
Kamal El-Din
Gunther Schnitzel
Chuck Terzella
Walid
Nickfun

 

 

 

Apple Shocks Windows Vista Users: Steve Jobs to offer Service Pack 1A for Microsoft's Troubled OS
by Walid
Enough is enough...I'm going to fix this pig!(Cupertino : California) Ucs Technology News : After weeks of fits and starts, Apple CEO Steve Jobs has decided to intervene on the behalf of struggling Microsoft Vista users. According to Silicon Valley insiders, Jobs instructed his OSX development team to "Fix the dam thing so Bill Gates doesn't dominate the news for another 5 years!"

Apple staffers close to Jobs have confirmed that Apples top man is "disgusted" with the press coverage Microsoft has received as it tries to repair it's floundering flagship Vista operating system. Engadget reports the Apple version of the complete Vista Service Pack SP1A will ready for download "within days". As of today Apple is already delivering patches for the operating systems most nagging problems.

In fact, Apple had already completed SP1A for Vista by the beginning of February, but it was only intended for selected groups inside Apple that were testing the Apple Boot Camp and Parallels compatibility functions.

What is available is the initial "Wave 0" version of SP1A, which is only in the English, German, Spanish, and French languages. A second variant, known as "Wave 1", which will update Vista in all of its other language versions will be released at a later time -- the exact date is not yet clear. The installation packets update all versions of Vista from Starter to Ultimate. The 32-bit variant is 434 MB and the x64 packet is 726 MB.

SP1A does not perform any fundamental upgrades, but rather it mainly fixes faults and problems. Once the update is complete, Vista is supposed to be faster at copying and unpacking files and the user account manager will not require so many confirmations. Apple provides an overview of the updates in Service Pack 1A in a white paper found on the Apple.com website.
 
Rate This Item
  
I Liked It
 
 Print
11768 Views
 
Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



MisterRon wrote:
If only....
_______________________________


not funny wrote:
This is idiotic.
_______________________________


zanny blowsdogz wrote:
Now if only Steve Jobs could fix his own OS to not be such an utter piece of crap!
_______________________________


giorgio wrote:
You're a week early for April Fools
_______________________________


windowsforever wrote:
zanny blowsdogz,

Take your meds. See what happens when you go a week without them?
_______________________________


James Davis wrote:
I have a better idea. To take Windows users out of GUI hell, it would be nice if Apple donated OS 9 to them. Windows 7 would be free to finally give Windows users a decent interface with all the Classic favorites: System Folder, window shades, the Chooser, and Microsoft could finally put the Apple menu up in the top left corner where it belongs instead of the bottom left going up which is moronic since civilized people read top to bottom.
_______________________________


kirasaw wrote:
easiest way to improve Vista is to replace it with MacOSX
_______________________________


jtow wrote:
How is Apple patching Vista with no source code. Nice try.
_______________________________


dingles wrote:
lol...I don't buy this for a second. And "floundering"?? hardly. Vista has been truly usable since beta2 and is rock solid now with SP1.

Now I completely agree with the statement "OSX" is an utter piece of crap!

Also don't forget that Apple wouldn't even be in business today if it wasn't for MSFT!
_______________________________


moof wrote:
what a waste of people's time...
_______________________________


SkippyThorson wrote:
Dingles, tell that to the GUI you just used to navigate to a Steve article and type that response.

This article was pretty humorous actually. Cleverly written.
_______________________________


replica watches wrote:
nice site!
_______________________________

Add Your Comments








Comments must be approved before being published.

 

In case You Missed Them...

Knocked Up stars Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen "Knocked Up" a Summer Hit at White House and in DC

The CIA Under Porter Goss Gets Even Better

Keith Olbermann Leaves NBC Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews Leave NBC to Join Staff at UnconfirmedSources.com

 

Recently in the News