UCS NEWS - Satirists worldwide enjoyed their traditional day off as April 1, or April Fools Day came around once again. April Fools' Day was first established in the early 1700s around the time of the birth of America as an unofficial national day of rest for hard-working satirists such as Benjamin Franklin and his British contemporary Jonathan Swift. The day was meant to allow writers of the budding form of humor respite from the rigors of attempting to present their writing as believable, and possibly adopt a more serious tone, if for only a day.
"This has been an exceptionally tough year for us," stated Unconfirmed Sources internet satire site proprietor Kamal El-Din. "What with the Bush administration and all, it's getting damn near impossible to find anything to write about that isn't already patently absurd, inherently ridiculous, and totally unbelievable. We've faced withering competition from news and television outlets worldwide that have taken to reporting this brand of 'truth'."
The Unconfirmed Sources staff marked the holiday with their traditional company picnic. In addition they listed their top 10 picks for April Fool's Day's "actual news" headlines:
1)Congress Has Big Questions for Big Oil
2)Lawmakers Probe Bear Stearns Purchase
3)Married Troops Can Live Together in Iraq
4)China Alleges Tibet 'Suicide Squads'
5)Hamas' Insults to Jews Complicate Peace
6)Clinton Says Obama Wants to Stop Votes
7)White House unveils Wall Street overhaul
8)PETA Offers Britney Spears A Job
9)Mugabe Aides Discuss Ceding Power
10)RNC: Not Fooled by Obama
"You just can't make this stuff up," opined UCS writer Dood Abides.
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