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McCain/Palin Campaign Confirm 17 Year Old Palin Daughter Bristol Pregnant
by Dood Abides
Bristol Palin holds brother Trig at rally for mom, GOP Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin

Alaska (Rotters) - The McCain/Palin campaign today confirmed that presumptive GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol was indeed pregnant out of wedlock. The campaign requested that the young girl be treated with the utmost dignity, fearing an onslaught of vicious rumors that they felt would be likely to accompany the controversial nomination of her mother as the Republican vice presidential candidate.

Bristol became the object of many rumors as she comforted and care for Palin's infant son, Trig, during public appearances this weekend, apparently concealing her pregnancy with her brother and a large blanket. Rumors have also circulated that Trig might possibly even be her child.

The campaign further denied that the father of the child was an Alaska state trooper formerly married to Palin's sister. Palin is currently under investigation for abuse of authority in applying undue pressure to have her former brother-in-law fired during a messy divorce from her sister.

"This is just a nasty rumor until proven true," stated a spokesperson for Palin. "Ms. Palin welcomes any investigation, and encourages you, just as she did Sen. McCain, to vet her. For now, the family is looking forward to welcoming a new member to the fruitful and multiplying Palin clan. The Palin family is highly representative of the Republican family values that Sen. McCain is attempting to resurrect and recognize through his nomination of the Alaska governor."

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



cynergee wrote:
Left wingers cannot win fairly on the issues. They are the lowest form of life with no imagination. I only hope that they take responsibility if Obama, the "uh um..ah..um..umm ah candidate plunges the United States into complete and total chaos. It is the left wing nut jobs who never take responsibility for their votes. Remember the only thing that gives them ability to voice their opinions, however ludicrous, are the very concepts of democracy and capitalism they so hate. If Obama does get elected, his complete and total inexperience coupled with his god like arrogance may very well create the socialistic euphoria the left wing truly want. Careful what you wish for. Take responsibility for your vote and understand that when your wonderful euphoria leaves you wanting...you will once again turn to us to fix your mess.
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Laura wrote:
A young girl falls in love with her boyfriend and gets pregnant. Happens every day. Her mom happens to be the newly minted VP candidate for the GOP. This makes the young lady and her family fodder for the cannons as far as left wingers are concerned.

Bill Clinton gets numerous BJ's from a 19 year old girl in the oval office for months and left wingers want to sweep it under the rug as the reaction of a man under stress. This was practically statuatory rape of a young woman with no sound judgement. It will affect her most of her life. He gets a pass.
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cynergeewiz wrote:
to cynergee: Are you, in some phantasmagorical way, insinuating that you "radical RIGHT wingers" are in any way capable of "fixing" the last tragicomic seven years of the Cheney administration that may well leave America a third world country? I thought not.
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ObamaAllTheWay08 wrote:
hehehe you conservatives are starting to sound desperate - enjoy your sinking ship!
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AbstinenceOnly wrote:
Look how well abstinence-only education worked in this fine republican household! What a success story - let's roll it out nationwide so all our 17 year olds can be pregnant or infected with STD's (or both!)
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Bushed wrote:
to Laura: Umm, a pregnant 17 year old is considered "statutory rape" in most states in the US. Attempted Impeachment is a pass? You, Laura, are definitely fodder.
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al wrote:
Leave this family alone! The media is always looking to jazz up some story by feeding us this kind of CRAP! Get it thru your heads people. The MEDIA SUPPORTS OBAMA! The media is liberal and therefore, whether Obama directly is responsible for all this coming out or not, he is to blame. This is a loving AMERICAN family that should be respected like any other family. I can say this much, the Palin's are a lot more responsible parents than i would be in this situation. I would have blasted the media with everything i could muster. The Media is a disgrace to America. My prayers are with you Bristol and with the entire Palin family. God Bless you.
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Thomas wrote:
It's not liberals' fault that this girl is being trashed all over the country. It's her MOTHER'S fault. Did she not know this would happen when she decided to run for VP? Obviously her career is more important than her 17 year old daughter, and her months old SN child.
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Walid wrote:
It's called vetting- look it up.

And if it was Obama's teenage daughter Rush and Rove would be sending flowers.

How about them apples.

LOL on floor
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Jessica wrote:
Palin has the nerve to call herself courageous for having a special needs child. I say it is just plain dumb. The child is obviously special needs because Palin was stupid enough to get herself knocked up at age 44. In this case, having a special needs child is stupid and selfish. Nevermind the fact that not only is she putting Bristol in a horrible situation she is neglecting to do her job as a mother. VP is a serious, time consuming job. Who is going to take care of this special needs child that Sarah so "bravely" brought into this world. At age 44 and after 4 kids, if you don't have your tubes tied then you should be smart enough to at least use protection. Like mother like daughter, I guess.
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Jessica wrote:
cynergee---

Capitalism and democracy are not the same thing. I cant imagine anyone would hate democracy. However,I can imagine how one might hate what we ignorantly call democracy. Whats so bad about socialistic ideals?? Sounds like you enjoy getting raped up the ass by big oil, big pharma and the uppper 3% of the nation. Keep on thinking what you think. People like you are far too gone to come back to earth and realize anyways.
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Mom of Three wrote:
Teens get pregnant. You can't expect the parents to ditch their careers. It doesn't mean they care more about their careers. It just means everyone has a life to lead. Bristol will lead hers, Sen. Palin hers. I am proud of Obama's harsh words for the press regarding this non-issue, and how families are off limits in the political process. I'm glad he's going to be our next president, but wish the Palin family the best.
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Marlo wrote:
I think that Sara Palin should have let her daughter Bristol take that sex ed class and maybe she wouldn't be in this shape at age 17. I'm glad she has decided to keep the baby, however why does her family insist on her getting married just because she's having a baby. I bet that 4 month old is hers also!
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Jack Wilson wrote:
Obama down by 2 (Zogby/Reuters) where a generic democrat wins b 30+ against Mac.

Sorry what sinking ship was this?
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lasthonestpersononearth wrote:
She shldn't have tried to run, Mc shldn't have pickd her. Bad choice after bad choice, sooooo republican. All you J.freaks keep sayin she did the right thing teachin abst. only and we shouldn't judge her by her daughters mistake(I think it was Sarah's mistake) but you know you would all be talkin crap if that girl showed up in your hood or, better yet, if Obama had a daughter that was pg. Talk about hypocrs.
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You, Mrs Palin are no Hillary Clinton wrote:
Hey Jack Wilson:

TIME/CNN: Obama +15 IA,+12 MN, +2 OH
That would be the Republitania. Better throw a no child left behind overboard and grab a seat on that last lifeboat.
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M from Ca. wrote:
cynergee's an idiot!
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nickfun wrote:
It seems the Rights have far more sex scandals than the Lefts whether it be teen pregnancy, infidelity, homosexual liaisons in washrooms or pedophilia. Nonetheless, they preach "family values" and call themselves Christians. Am I missing something?
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