Terrorist Osama Bin Laden to Address Republican National Convention

by Walid

ST. PAUL, Minnesota (Ucs News) -- International terrorist Osama Bin Laden delivered a video tapped message Republican National Convention. 45 minute The video message was the nights highlight. Bin Laden said Tuesday night that only Republican Sen. John McCain has "shown the courage and capability to rise above logic and cast off the chains of reason." Osama said Tuesday that McCain "is the best choice to ...lead the country forward in to oblivion." "God only made one John McCain, and he is the man to mislead America," The terrorist said to cheers at the Republican National Convention as he explained his support for McCain's presidential run. "I will slaughter independents, Democrats and Republicans alike: So come together this November to make the great American satan, John McCain, our next great president," he said. Like other speakers Tuesday night, Osama Bin Laden emphasized McCain's service as a naval officer and a politician. Osama also said McCain's support for the U.S. "troop surge" in Iraq was an example of him taking an insane and unpopular positions. Delegates were mostly subdued when Osama talked about his 8 years of freedom and how he wanted John McCain to "Meet me at the gates of hell, so I can kick you butt...again."

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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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