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Levi Johnston : Very Lucky to be alive
by Walid
Levi Johnston : shallow grave or center stage(ST. Paul : Minneapolis) Ucs News-- Levi Johnston must be the luckiest guy around. I have to admire him, messing around with the Alaskan governor Sarah Pailn's daughter takes some real balls on his part. Some may call it love, bravery or foolishness of youth, I call it a miracle he is not dead. By all rights, Levi should be in a shallow grave but instead he is hanging out with John McCain and the whole conservative RNC crew. My hat is off to you brother.

First of all, your UNDERAGE girlfriends' mother is a "certified abstinence counselor." You made Sarah Palin, the Governor of Alaska, look like a fool. But then again she is a "certified abstinence counselor" with 5 kids. Not what I call a roll model for abstinence.

Second of all, Todd Palin is some kind of badass snowmobile racer and oil field production worker. I see on the Wikipedia he was thrown 70 feet off his sled, broke his arm and still finished 4th. So what does this mean? Todd Palin is not some liberal softy. I sure would have liked to see the blood vessels popping off his forehead when he found out his 17 year old daughter was pregnant. Todd Palin must have some kind of solid steel self restraint.

Levi,if you were diddling my daughter, I would just break your neck.

Lastly, I know for a fact the Alaskan State Troopers are a fine breed of men that don't take no guff. I figure some time after the November election sends John McCain back to Congress and Sarah Palin back to Alaska, you may find yourself hand cuffed the in back of a squad car, or in the trunk rolled up safe in a rug or maybe just dragged for a few miles down an icy road.

My advice to you Levi Johnston, use a condom and sell your story to Harold and Kumar.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



Mitch Can1z wrote:
ROFL!!!!
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Bill Wilson wrote:
Dear Levi: I am a mnufacterer of steroids, growth hormones, and of chewing gum such as you chewed on the tarmac and on the stage at the convention. I would like to talk with your people about sponsoring you in dirt bike, snob mobile, extreme skating, and saggy pants competitions.
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nickfun wrote:
A fine commentary! But I think the age of consent in Alaska is 12. I may be wrong.
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nickfun wrote:
Actually, I just looked it up. The age of consent in Alaska is 16. She's legal.
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