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White House Forecloses on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
by Dood Abides
Realty signs went up late this afternoon on the properties of both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
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Washington, DC (APE) - With no fanfare, the Bush administration late this afternoon quietly announced that it would be initiating foreclosure procedures on both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, insisting that the properties therein would be sold at auction. This was a sudden turn of events as the government had merely stepped in to assess and stabilize the status of both lending institutions early this morning. Realty signs were placed on both properties directing interested parties to the White House switchboard.

"While our economy is fundamentally sound," stated White House spokesperson Dana Perino, "it has come to the point that foreclosure is simply the best alternative to guarantee some sort of return to the Chinese as well as other international upper tier investors. The United States' reputation is at stake here and we must restore international confidence to continue with our ability to borrow. This is a sacrifice that the American people must make in order to grow our ownership society."

The White House stated that both lending institutions would be offered during a secret closed bid auction at a date yet to be named. They also stated that hurricane Ike was being followed closely in the White House situation room with contingency plans being made to offer multiple properties in either southern Florida or the Louisiana Gulf Coast, possibly including New Orleans itself.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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