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Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps Dangerously Out Of Shape, Say Doctors
by NickFun
Michael Phelps is now pushing 600 pounds.
Doctors monitoring 14 time Olympic Gold Medal winner Michael Phelps claim the world's greatest swimmer is now dangerously out of shape and is now unable to float, much less swim.

It would appear that Phelps has continued consuming 10,000 calories a day despite not working out. Over the holidays he increased his intake to nearly 100,000 calories per day and now tips the scales at a whopping 586 lbs.

"We have warned Phelps about the danger of eating too much without exercising", said exercise physiologist Dr. Jorge Funktwat. "If he doesn't slow down his caloric intake he will need his own zip code".

Phelps is in danger of all the usual obesity related problems including obesity, heart disease and cancer. However, Dr Funktwat says that Phelps overall good health should delay these problems for at least a few years.

"I'm telling Michael to lose 400lbs. As soon as he does that he should be able to swim again.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



Marie wrote:
Wow. This is a stupid article. It's not even funny! Michael Phelps has been hardworking and dedicated for the past few years. He is just taking a well deserved break and enjoying it. You have to be pretty low to mock someone who has achieved what was thought of impossible.
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nickfun wrote:
He liked the story Marie. He thought it was funny. I greatly admire Michael and hope he continues to do well.
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