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"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Rescinded. Gays Coming Out of Closets
by NickFun
Scenes like this will soon become commonplace in the US military.
Now that the United States military is rescinding the "don't ask, don't tell" policy implemented by former President Clinton, hundreds of thousands of soldiers are stepping forward and admitting they are gay.

During a recent visit to an army base, Unconfirmed Sources heard one soldier telling another, "God, those boots make you look soooo butch". To which the other soldier replied, "yes, but I think these khakis make me look fat".

Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Senate Armed Services Committee  that nearly half the armed forces are gay. This stands in sharp contrast to the era when gays were not allowed to serve at all before 1993. In order to avoid combat and military service, some young men once resisted the draft explaining they were gay. The new policy does not discriminate and insists that everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, must die or kill.

Some Iraqi commanders have been requesting matching drapes and linens for the troops. "These tents always look so ghastly!" one commander commented. Also, one Afghani platoon was heard singing Broadway show tunes. Another was seen doing the Macarena as part of their morning exercises.

Secretary of Defensed Robert Gates said, "maybe this was not such a great idea after all".

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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