Noted oral surgeon Dr Richard Fulcrum announced today that a cure for tooth decay and nearly all oral diseases has been found but not to expect it to be available anytime soon.
"Actually, this cure was found over 40 years ago", Fulcrum stated. "It's a simple vaccine that targets the bacteria in the mouth. It will prevent all kinds of tooth decay. The only thing is, dentistry is big business! If we release this cure to the public it would put a multi-billion dollar business down the toilet!"
Fulcrum pointed out that fillings, crowns, root canals, implants, dentures and even standard cleanings cost the average person several hundred dollars per year.
"You multiply that times the 300 million people in the country and you're talking serious money", Fulcrum continued.
American Dental Association (ADA) spokesperson Sheila Dents refuted Fulcrum's claims. "That's silly! We could never have such a massive coverup without people finding out! That's like saying the US government has knowledge of UFOs! Silly!"