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U.S. Government Behind Toyota Sudden Acceleration Problem, According to NHTSA Official
Jackson Bojetic, an official with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), candidly revealed today that the United States government covertly sabotaged millions of Toyota vehicles in an effort to remove the Japanese autos from the road and to increase sales and production of American made vehicles. ...
Robert Uithoven, Sue Lowden's campaign manager, launches new GOP consulting firm
LAS VEGAS - Robert Uithoven, Sue Lowden's campaign manager and consultant, has launched a new GOP consulting firm. The firm is called You're F'ed Strategies. ...
Peeping Tom Victim Blake Robbins To Become Spokesperson For Mike and Ike Candy
Alleged peeping tom victim Blake Robbins has inked a $5 million deal with Mike & Ike candy to become their official spokesperson, according to Mike & Ike's advertising agency Bendover Advertising. ...
Toyota Blames Gremlins For Sudden Acceleration Issues
Toyota officials claimed today that there is nothing wrong with any of the recalled automobiles and instead blamed the problems of sudden acceleration on Gremlins, little mysterious creatures that are mechanically inclined and tend to tinker with machinery. ...
E-E-T: Health Care Reform on TV...At Least, Sarah Palin Goes NRA and Restricted Airplane Bathrooms.
(Charlotte-NC) Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the National Rifle Association's annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina this May. Palin, in addition to being a former Governor of Alaska and nemesis to "The Family Guy", is a hunteress and advocate of the right to bear arms. "Governor Palin is one of the most requested speakers in America today," Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's executive director, said in a statement. "She's a steadfast supporter of our Second Amendment freedom and advoca...
NY Gubernatorial Candidate Warren Redlich Wants to Starve Public Sector Employees
New York Criminal Defense Lawyer and gubernatorial candidate Warren Redlich stated today that he wishes to cap the salaries of public sector employees at $100,000 per year and pensions at $75,000 thus effectively starving many of them or forcing them into bankruptcy. ...
Steve Jobs Admits Apple iPad Rumor Mill Malfunction
Unconfirmed sources are reporting that the rumor mills tasked to create rumors surrounding the Apple iPad have been malfunctioning. In a statement released by Jobs he admitted there have been some 'issues' with the mills and that Apple was working hard to remedy the situation. He denied that any of the rumors were defective and said they would not be recalling any. ...
Unconfirmed Sources editorial board endorses Sue Lowden
LAS VEGAS - Our editorial board had a chance to sit down with Sue Lowden, candidate for U.S. Senate. After spending several hours ballyhooing her credentials as a showgirl who danced next to Bob Hope and in order to prevent Sue Lowden's campaign from having Unconfirmed Sources censored from Google News, the decision to endorse Sue Lowden was unanimous. ...
Lower Merion, PA School Using Computers to Watch Kids Undress, Shower, Etc.
Teachers and school officials from Lower Merion School District near Philadelphia, PA admitted today that they use school issued Macbook computers to watch teenage boys and girls undress and shower. ...
Sue Lowden accuses Danny Tarkanian of being a 'perennial beauty contest entrant'
LAS VEGAS - Sue Lowden's campaign issued a statement on Friday accusing her opponent, Danny Tarkanian, of being a "perennial beauty contest entrant." The Tarkanian campaign was quick to respond by noting that Danny Tarkanian has never been a professional model or showgirl. ...

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