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MATTEL ADDS AUTOPSY KIT TO ITS TOY LINE
by Gunther Schnitzel
Enjoying Autopsy kit

CHICAGO - Toy maker Mattel announced today that it will no longer import toys from China due to lead and other hazards and is expanding its line of educational toys which will be made only in the USA.

. Mattel is adding a realistic scaled-down autopsy instrument kit to its existing line which now includes.. the riding, mower-blade sharpener, the 220-volt line tester, the lethal injection simulator, and Hassidic Rabbi doll with lead-free paint ..

Designed for children 9 to 13, Mattel says the autopsy kit will provide hours of fun and education.

In addition to forceps, scalpels, and other instruments, the kit includes detailed illustrated instructions regarding the removal of organs, post-autopsy cleanup, and the obtaining of cadavers from homeless shelters.

Parents will be pleased as they observe their child engaged in this hands-on educational and investigative activity instead of playing virtual games of questionable nature on computers.

Undergoing testing at Mattel headquarters, and while happily dissecting rabbits, Chihuahuas, and seagulls there, several children expressed interest in becoming meat cutters at supermarkets.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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