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Police Release Composite Sketches of Suspects in Randi Rhodes Assault
by Dood Abides
NYPD computer generated drawings of two male suspects wanted in the assault of Air America host Randi Rhodes


New York, NY (UPSI) - New York Police Department detectives have released composite drawings of two unknown white male suspects wanted in the assault last night on Air America talkshow host Randi Rhodes. The suspects are described as both being in their 50s, one tall, the other shorter and markedly obese. Police are said to be ruling out robbery as a motive and looking into the possibility of charges for a hate crime.

"Ms. Rhodes is doing well and resting comfortably, and we are fortunate that she was able to provide such a detailed account," stated a police spokesperson. "Clearly there was an extreme degree of violence and invective directed toward Miss Rhodes, and there may have been others involved, participating under direction from the two suspects."

Rhodes was initially felt to be the victim of a mugging, but rumors of a politically motivated attack because of her left-leaning talk show appeared to be gaining credibility.

Right-wing talk show host Rush Limbaugh expressed his sympathy to Rhodes, but scoffed at the idea that she was a victim of right-wing hatred. "New York is a tough town, and it's a liberal town. It's full of drugs and other perversions that you would expect from years of Democrat influence. She was probably beaten up by someone looking for OxyContin."

Likewise, right-wing personality Bill O'Reilly went further, saying that Rhodes was largely responsible for her own assault, and "probably, in many ways enjoyed the attack." "I have cautioned the left for years," stated O'Reilly, "and maybe now they'll be able to see just how mad they've made some people. I hope she gets better really soon, but there's nothing out of the ordinary here, just the usual suspects."
 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

Your Comments



me wrote:
Ouch you bunch of lyning punks she was not a victim but your still assholes
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me2 wrote:
Hilarious!
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me3 wrote:
How interesting that anyone from any political stance could have apathy towards violent behavior... where just a mugging for drugs or a hate crime. I doubt that Miss Rhodes was mugged by two older men for drugs. I believe there motive was prompted by the biases of the right wing on the sheer basis of the thug like mentality that has been part of this administration and its followers. There is no mention of her property being stolen... only a beating as if it were a warning. Hopefully this men will be found along with their paying instigators.

Many blessings to Miss Rhodes and best wishes for her speedy recovery. Hopefully this spurs Miss Rhodes on more to help stop the run away violence that seems to be growing more rampantly in this country. So long as the druggies like Rush Limbaugh doesn't mind attacks for OXYCONTIN (wonder why he does mind that) or Bill O'Reilly (with sexual misconduct on his record)suggests condoning a hate crime inacted upon Miss Rhodes for her way of getting to the truth on political issues... while we as American citizens continue to see the violence that is allow to be perputrated against innocent citizens. Who really needs their chains jerked and rattled here? I don't believe it is Miss Rhodes. And if Limbaugh and O'Reilly were in the same predicament... I bet they would be screaming meemies on public radio for the violence committeed against them.

From one who can see the real truth and wants justice.

Me3
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rg from sd wrote:
Geez, guys, can't you recognize humor when it's right in front of you! What-
ever happened to Randi is most unfortunate, and I hope it is far less serious than originally reported. This article is marvously funny, and should be taken as such.
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Lance Newell wrote:
the guy on the left asked Randi to help releave the pressure from a cyst on his ass,she said no way buddy,he beat her senseless...dang....Poor Randi...
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angel wrote:
another liberal liar.......cant win on debating..so we lie, lie coward libs...
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devil wrote:
to angel: Ah! Name calling. One of the finer Republican debating techniques!
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Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Member wrote:
Ha, Those pictures don't look anything like me.
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Steve I. wrote:
Hilariously unfunny! Why don't you crawl into bed and lament your mediocrity.

Oh, and Randi's lawyers say she wasn't attacked.
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Senator Craig wrote:
Hey, Steve I:

Why don't you crawl back under your stall and wave your hand for your next partner and lament your latent homosexuality?
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Frank S. wrote:
The Libs answer to Morton Downey Junior. Who? You ask? EXACTLY!!!!!!
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YOCHANAN wrote:
KETEL ONE DID IT
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joyce wrote:
this is how incredibly stupid the left is. It's really pathetic. I'm sure their parents are so proud.
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Max Dobbs wrote:
It's fascinating to read the posts from 3-fingered republicans saying "librills kant win deebaiting". Considering the fact that the president is a functional illiterate incapable of putting a sentence together (despite his Ivy league, New England pedigree), and his apologists have never ONCE admitted they were wrong to cheerlead the occupation of Iraq which has cost over 4000 troops while making America less safe; where exactly are the rightwingers who are articulate and mentally capable of debating ANY issue? In the past 7 years if there's one thing the rightwing has proven, it's that intelligence, like reality, has a liberal bias. Only wimps can talk intelligently, right wingers?
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fubaglady wrote:
This is so funny! Making fun of the left is so easy because they are so predictable and moronic!
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T-Hawkk wrote:
I suspect she was buying drugs from a dealer. After accepting her cash, he sucker-punched her in the mouth and took off running.

So, she made up the story about "falling down while walking her dog."

She, like all leftists, need psychological help fast.
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jerry wrote:
Keep lies alive..Jessie used to say Keep Hope Alive...but the Liberals killed that a long time ago,. Now its depression, AIDS, Drugs ADD, or (XYZ) illegals killing off American jobs, and people. So stay with the negatives Liberals and you too can collect your food stamps, section 8 housing assistance, and free drugs. Jerry
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Lush Limpdick wrote:
I pity the poor Republic party.

Ah, not really. Hear that loud swishing sound?

That's either the giant broom of reform come to sweep you and your disastrous loud mouthed incompetents out of office...

Or the stall next to yours is freeing up for your next dirty, nasty blowjob.
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ME4 wrote:
ME3,

Better luck on your next treatise because right now you're looking like a good candidate for a tin foil cap.
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