UN Declares United States "Failed State!"
by Walid
Unconfirmed sources report The United Nations is set to declare the United States of America a "Failed State". In a closed-door meeting of the United Nations Security Council, the UN Secretary General Kofi Annon requested a vote on the emergency resolution #2004-11-02. The resolution would clear the way for international forces to legally invade the US to restore order.

The Secretary General addressed an open session of the general assembly to explain his grave concerns. "We have a terrible situation developing in the United States of America. This once proud nation is crumbling before our very eyes. The Government in Washington is failing to perform the basic functions of a civil society. The education system, local law enforcement, and federal governance are all broken beyond repair." Lamented the tearful Sectary. "Within this power vacuum, the people are falling victim to partisan factional violence, rampant crime, reduction of liberties and the continuous threats of terror. Brothers and sisters of the world...Something must be done!"

"The people of the United States are decent, kind and really deserve better." Continued Secretary Annon. "There is too much at stake for the world to standby. I fear that the remnant of the cold war nuclear arsenal in the hands of the rouge Bush regime is a gathering threat to world peace that cannot be ignored. I feel great shame that this body did not act fast enough in Rwanda, Darfur, Kosavo, Bangladesh, and Iraq. But this is different the future of the world itself will depend on us to keep the United States from crumbling. I therefore ask every country to join us as we embark on our greatest mission, perhaps the greatest mission in history. Join us in operation "American Freedom!"

The Global Policy Forum authored Emergency Resolution #2004-11-02 to arrest the disintegration of the once great United States. The resolution contains three parts that outline the basis for Operation American Freedom.

1) The United States will be declared a "failed state". This designation will allow the UN to invade the country and install a new government legally.
2) A caretaker government to be installed in the traditional home of American democracy Boston, Massachusetts. With ground troop commitments from the European Union China and Russia, The United Nations believes security can be maintained while the congress and judicial system is reconstituted.
3) A secure general election to be held within weeks of the liberation.

It's hoped The Neo Conservative Bush regime can be toppled swiftly without further disrupting the lives of the American people. Global Policy Forum advisers fear the collapse of the American economy could lead to the chaos of an insurgency. "In a country awash with weapons security is a primary concern as we take control on the ground," stated Jean-Baptiste Elbe The French General tapped to lead the multi-national force. The well-respected commander is currently overseeing the massing of troops in Quebec and Northern Mexico.

Secretary General Annon concluded his address to the open session with a message to the American people. "Fear not America, freedom is on the march. "




 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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