Florida Judge Orders Bibles to Carry Anti-Creationism Sticker!
by Kamal El-Din
Bible stickerUnconfirmed sources report that a State of Florida Appellate Court Judge is about to hand down a ruling that will require all Bibles in the state to carry a warning sticker. The proposed sticker reads: "Warning this book promotes the dogma of creationism. Because experts disagree about the scientific basis of creationism, it and the rest of the material in this book should not be taken on faith. One should approach this material with an open mind and study it critically." The Florida religious community has greeted the news of the expected ruling with pleasure and is anxious to comply.

"This is a real victory for the faithful of America." Exclaimed Dr. James Dobson of the Christian organization Focus on the Family. "We have been witness to the steady erosion of the separation between church and state and I am glad to see that something is being done about it. I have long been a fan of textbook labeling and it only makes sense that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. I have received an advance copy of the sticker and we are printing then up for distribution across the country."

The White House refused to comment publicly on the matter as it is still before the judge, but the President is said to be pleased by the expected ruling. "The President, while himself a religious man, realizes that not everyone shares his beliefs." Explained White House spokesman Ben Lion, anonymously on deep background. "America is a secular country and we need to be careful not to try and impose our beliefs on the heathen savages that we are forced share our county with."

The final ruling is expected to come down in the next few days. Court watchers believe that the court will give Churches and Bible publishers plenty of time to comply with the new labeling requirements. There is no sign of an appeal to the Supreme Court on the matter, as both sides seem to be pleased with the expected compromise.

 
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Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

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